I thought I made this clear in my Ebony Magazine days. And yet here we are.
It seems as though, much like most relationship topis, we are still having the same conversation. Still pretending confusion where there really isnt any. Because if you listen to how people talk about dating right now, it doesnt sound unclear at all. It sounds like people are tired of being considered as an option, instead they'd like to be considered as a priority.
According to recent data from BLK app, roughly 75% of Black singles are looking for something serious, while only about 14% say theyre interested in something casual.
It doesnt stop there. The same data shows:
59% prioritize emotional connection, character, and shared ambition over financial status
70% consider emotional cheating just as significant as physical cheating
People are setting expectations earlier. Cutting things off faster. Not circling back to situations that already showed them what they were. Which makes the ongoing discourse around situationships feel less like a cultural norm and more like a refusal to accept what people have already said out loud.
Because situationships were were convenient. A way to stay close to commitment without actually choosing it. And for a while, that workedespecially in a culture that rewarded flexibility over clarity. It doesnt work the same way now. And just as important as what people want is what they're no longer prioritizing.
Theres been a noticeable shift away from using money as the primary marker of compatibility. Not because financial stability doesn't matter it does but because the reality is, we're all navigating an economic climate that has been anything but stable.
Inflation hasn't really let up. Housing costs havent either. Layoffs have made income feel less like a fixed trait and more like something that can change overnight. Using salary as the baseline for whether a relationship makes sense starts to feel a little unrealistic in that context. People arent ignoring finances. Theyre just not pretending it tells the whole story.
Which is why character keeps coming up. Consistency. How someone shows up when things arent ideal. The parts you don't see in a photo. And despite all the handwringing about marriage rates, people arent moving away from each other. If anything, more are finding their way into relationshipseven if theyre taking their time deciding what to call them.
Partnership hasnt gone anywhere. The patience for anything undefined, thoughthats a different conversation.